I’ve been experiencing a lot of newness lately. Dating, prepping for empty nesting, starting a practitioner program this fall (can’t wait to share those details), buying a car, making plans to move out my house…it’s a lot, but it’s surprisingly not overwhelming. I’m actually welcoming it.
I’m used to balancing many plates, in both hands, while hopping on one leg, while still rocking steady with plates up top my head. It’s been a way of life for me. It’s the calling of a creative, it’s the life of a mother, it’s the fate of most Black women.
I’m well satisfied with my life. I’m more content than most. I’m generally happy and at peace with all I’ve accomplished in my 39 years on this earth. There not one thing I have a desire to fulfill. Not one place I’ve got to see. Not one venture I need to conquer. In that understanding, everything that happens for me, is all bonus (let me add, life should be happening FOR you, not TO you). I can sit here and honestly say, I can slow down. But how would it feel to, dare I say, set down these plates?
I’ll tell you exactly how it feels, and what it looks like…it’s freedom! I’ve deliberately chosen to not put forth energy into my skin care line. I even have a t-shirt design that would sell well if I would only market and promote it. Yet, I just haven’t made the move to do so. I’ll get to them, in time. But that time isn’t now.
A few months ago, I decided I would pick up the dating plate, and invest more time in manifesting balanced, masculine energy in my stratosphere. I could possibly manifest “husband,” because I honestly desire that, but what comes before the husband? The relationship. And before the relationship? The dating. So I made space in my life to seriously date, and do so with intent. Doing so with intent meant that I understood that I had to be open and available to deal with the ins and outs, and ups and downs of encountering masculine energy. And y’all, that has been WORK! That’ll have to be another post.
With all that I was balancing before, it would taken a serious toll on my mind, body, and spirit to even dare to approach the idea of dating. Could it have been done? Yes! But it would have been draining and depleting. Long story short, I’ve met some weirdos and some great guys, but I’ve enjoyed every bit of it. Through getting to know these men, I’ve learned more about me and what I like and don’t like, and what I can and cannot tolerate.
But let me tell y’all the plate I’ve recently lowered: social media. I don’t post as often, and I’ve greatly decreased my scroll time. I have an issue with being overstimulated, and social media is sensory overload for me. I’m sensitive to what’s going on with and within myself, so why marry everybody else’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions with my own? I’ve enjoyed my time away from it. I’m spending more time looking up. I’m taking notice of the influx of red and blue birds in my hood. I’m enamored at grandchildren shopping with their scolding, yet, doting grandparents. I’m shaking my head at the kids riding their bikes on busy neighborhood streets, who without looking nan way, decide 15 feet away from my bumper that they have full authority to cross the street. And instead of getting angry, I smile. Cause I remember being that kid. Still, babies, look both ways!
I’m learning to take the time to look up. Cause that’s where I get my queues from God, who is actively, constantly, and consistently using the universe to speak to me. I’m receiving hints about what’s to come. I’m hearing whispers telling me the road to take. Instead of being tethered to technology, I’m getting an understanding of what it means to be in tune with myself, rooted in the present, and grounded in the moment. I’m being mindful of the gift of now. By being aware and grateful for the gift of now, I’m telling God that I’m ready for what and/or who is coming next.
I rarely spend time in my living room. Today, not only did I rest there in quietness, I put up my feet on the coffee table. That was a rarity. It felt strange. It was definitely unfamiliar. But it felt good.
By resting and slowing $h!t down, I’m preparing myself for different, and setting myself up for new. And I’m so ready❤️